Chapter 0.1 is the beginning chapter for the Twittering Birds Never Fly (囀る鳥は羽ばたかない, Saezuru Tori wa Habatakanai) manga and is within Volume 1.
Characters[]
Summary[]
"People are full of contradictions, but they have nothing to fear if they have nothing to lose." Yashiro, at the beginning of the chapter, then repeating himself at the end of the chapter
The chapter opens with Yashiro having sex with an unknow Yakuza, the man noting that a tied up Yashiro has orgasms quite frequently.
At school, Yashiro notes that he has to avoid drawing attention to himself - rather unsuccessfully, as a fellow student, Kageyama Kanji, offers him Band-Aids to cover up the scaring on his wrists. Yashiro feigns excitement but accepts them anyway, noting that it has been a month since his classmate noticed his scars - a result of Yashiro's sexual escapades.
He notes that his mother hasn't been home in a full year, and his stepdad in three.
Yashiro notes that he is a masochist, and gay, with a slight sadistic streak, admitting that it made an appearance in middle-school, when he had sex with a girl and made her cry. He rather prefers "gay sex", admitting that it is rather depressing.
He decides to pay the school nurse a visit for a broken shoulder, only to find Kageyama there instead, having been made "student representative" because his parents run a clinic, who helps him set his shoulder. He then insists on seeing Yashiro's burns under the guise of a medical examination, becoming engrossed with them, leading Yashiro to ask him if he likes "burns, and scabs, and stuff". They spent the next two weeks while Kageyama was in charge of the infirmary, Yashiro let him tough his scars everyday, getting aroused every time Kageyama touched him, until the nurse returned, then hiding away in the Audio/Visual Room.
Yashiro then lies, and tells him that he is bisexual, but in truth he has never been in love with either a man or a woman. The confession gets no reaction from Kageyama, so Yashiro pesters him further, admitting that his step-father has been raping him "forcing me to sleep with him" since he was then, and that he can't get sex out of his head. Kageyama stops touching him after that.
Kageyama has no reaction.
Yashiro has sex with a Yakuza, "who thinks that fucking a man up the ass as stress relief is one noble hobby", begging to be burned with the unknown man's cigarette, but gets slapped in response, Yashiro complains that the man should be careful, "that his asshole is quite small". The next day, Yashiro gets called to the teacher's office, being question if he got into a fight. He denied it, stating that it was completely one-sided and that he didn't remember who had hit him. The teacher notes that Kageyama has been absent "since yesterday", stating that his father had died, Yashiro noted that Kageyama's father was quiet old and sick, that he didn't have that long to live.
Yashiro couldn't stop himself from showing up to the funeral, wanting to see Kageyama's crying face, the thought made him so excited that he could barely stand it.
Kageyama notices Yashiro in his school uniform, and thanks him for coming. Yashiro couldn't look him in the eye, blushing and stating that he didn't even bring any "incense money", but is told not to worry about it. He "just thanks" Yashiro.
Yashiro rushes home to masturbate, thinking of Kageyama and his crying face, noting that "the Kakeyama in my fantasy wasn't on top or on bottom. He just cried".
Kageyama refuses to initiate any contact, Yashiro admitting "that it was torture". To force a reaction out of Kageyama, Yashiro admits to masturbating to his crying face - he leaves their conversation in disgusts.
Yashiro notes that:
"Kageyama is the type of guy who doesn't really care about anyone else, to him, everyone's the same; just average people who wouldn't understand him even if they tried".
Yashiro admites that he is "twisted beyond repair," that he "must be twisted to feel normal attraction to Kageyama. I'm a masochist, after all", and that he "wants (Kageyama) to hurt and make him cry, but if he ever rejects me, it'll probably hurt me",
Yashiro then spots a contact lens case in Kageyama's desk, and takes it for himself.
Kageyama starts is seen talking with Yoshikawa from Class D, prompting Yashiro to ask him if they are dating. Kageyama admits that he doesn't know. Yashiro encourages him to do so, saying their classmates, Yokota, would be jealous.
Yashiro once again praises his lying capabilities.
While walking home in the rain, following behind Kageyama and Yoshikawa, Kageyama admits to having lost his contact lenses, and invites Yashiro out to get something to eat with them, but Yashiro declines, stating that he had to go home and masturbate, silently admitting to himself that he would be thinking of Kageyama and Yoshikawa while he did so.
At home, after having masturbated, Yashiro admits to not having a lot of anal sex recently. And:
"If I just keep on masturbating while thinking about Kageyama, I'm going to end up drowning in my own spunk", and decided to have sex with "some random old man" "a fat older dude" into an hotel to relieve his frustrations. The news got out among his classmates, and Yashiro is confronted about his sexuality and teased.
Yashiro then kisses one of his classmates, looking right at Kageyama, and continues to assault him, only to be pulled away by Kageyama, resulting in a two week suspension. Meeting again on the rooftop after Yashiro's suspension, Kageyama asks Yashiro what he did to entertain himself - "I had sex", admitting that his parents weren't even made aware, and that he hasn't seen them for a year.
Kageyama asks Yashiro what he wants to do in the future, Yashiro admitting that he doesn't really know, and Kageyama admitting that he's going to follow in his parents footsteps to become a doctor. He also admits that Yashiro is quite pitiful, sad and pathetic, "because he's all alone," admitting that he himself is also alone, but that Yashiro is different, and not a bad person for not laughing at Kageyama's fetish. Yashiro realized that Kageyama wasn't exactly normal, remembering how sympathetic he always seemed to be.
Kageyama admits that Yashiro is important to him, but "as a close friend".
Yashiro laughs at that.
When Yashiro returns home, noting that although the house is empty, his mother must have stopped by, noting the smell. He notices the money she left, and after counting it, opens up the windows to air out the room.
As he sits in front of the window, Yashiro begins to cry. He remembers what Kageyama had said,
"It's just that... you're all alone."
Yashiro cries while thinking of Kageyama, lamenting that:
"People are full of contradictions. They're lonely. And then they're not. They're missed. And then they're not."